Working On Me

I recently read, in Women’s Health Magazine, about Christina Applegate, one of my personal heros, and how she’s recovering from her experience with breast cancer last year. According to the article, she posts positive affirmations around her house, which help her maintain her strength and positive outlook and keep stress at bay. The affirmations she chose, ‘I am a miracle of health’, and ‘I am joy’, reflect what she already believes about herself, reminding her to maintain an attitude of gratitude and optimism.This is such a fun, simple way to maintain a positive attitude–leaving yourself little reminders of hopefulness to pull you out of rumination and pessimism, should it take hold. I whole-heartedly recommend this strategy, with one major caveat: make your affirmations realistic.

When I mention ‘realistic’ affirmations, I mean that positive affirmations should reflect views that you actually believe, even if only in your best moments, rather than views that you would like to someday believe. (For example, stating, ‘I am the perfect picture of patience’ may not be as realistic as, ‘I am becoming more patient every day’, for someone who faces a heavy load of stress and is working toward maintaining a peaceful attitude.) The reason? Unrealistic affirmations can actually sabotage your success!

In a recent study published in the July issue of Psychological Science, researchers asked participants with high and low self-esteem to repeat positive self statements. One group simply repeated positive self-statements, one group also did so and focused only on how the statements were true, one group repeated positive self-statements and focused on how the statements were true and not true, and one group didn’t use any affirmations. Of the high self-esteemers, those who repeated the positive affirmations and focused on how they were true, and those who simply repeated the statements, both felt somewhat better afterward. However, those with low self-esteem (essentially, those who did not fully believe the positive statements they were making of themselves) felt somewhat better when focusing how the positive affirmations were true and not true, but felt worse when they were just repeating the affirmations or focusing only on how they were true.

Yes, this is a bit of data to take in, but the point is that repeating positive affirmations that you don’t actually believe can actually make you feel worse than doing nothing, and certainly can make you feel worse than repeating positive affirmations that you do, deep down, believe, or focusing on the reality that you may not be ‘there’ yet in some ways, but are in others. So, when creating positive affirmations, it’s best to stick to your best thoughts and beliefs about yourself, but not to stretch too far into the realm of Things You Don’t Yet Really Believe About Yourself; just reach for the best-feeling thoughts you have access to, and as you progress with your affirmations, you’ll have access to a greater range of ‘better-feeling thoughts’.
What’s your take on positive affirmations? What has your experience been like? Share your thoughts in the ‘comments’ section.

_{Source: Wood JV, Perunovic WQ, Lee JW. Positive self-statements: power for some, peril for others.Psychological Science, July, 2009.}

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